Saturday, December 5, 2009

Bamboozled and Furious

Not too long ago, I had my dream job. I lived and breathed it. It was exactly what I wanted to do after college. Nine months later, my career path is at a dead end along with my sanity. Dream job moved on to another state, I wanted to stay where I was. I was certain I would be able to find another non-profit job in a matter of weeks. But I didn't.

I got a temporary job so I could earn some income while I continued to search for one in the non-profit sector. I got laid off after 1 month because of the economy. In a panic, I accepted a position at a hotel. I thought it might be interesting, but most of all I just needed a paycheck. When I found out it only paid $7.50 I quit. They called me back offering a dollar more an hour and the title of Revenue Manager. I just had to put up with making $8.50 an hour for 90 days of "assessment time" until I got a real salary and benefits. I accepted. Idiot.

I waited out the 90 days. Wrote up a salary proposal and pitched them my ideas and what I wanted in salary. They offer they came back with was 25k plus commission bonus. They promised the numbers would get better as winter approached. It has not. I have not made one bonus check. After taxes and my health care costs, I take home $9.63 an hour. I barely have enough money to pay the bills and buy groceries. I am dependent on my boyfriend for the roof I have over my head. (Good thing he's a wonderful guy.)

It feels humiliating to be in this position. I am a smart, creative person. I have an education. I am a very hard worker. I have not been able to get a job in the non-profit sector after nine months of trying. I studied political science in college because I am interested in people, communities, and societies. I want a job that makes a difference. Every morning, I walk to work and pass dozens of homeless people in downtown San Antonio and feel a pang of guilt as I trudge to my job at the four star hotel. Some people help those that need it, I help people who would like more towels and a wake-up call at 7 a.m.

The people I work for (privately owned, I will NOT work for a corporation) have a main business that is extremely successful. The hotel is not. It dawned on me day before yesterday that there was no reason to hold on to a business that has not profited in five years. However, the owner is a very adept business man. So why would he hold onto this tanking business? Then it hit me - for the tax write-off. I have been duped! I have no bonus checks in my future! The hotel is not there to make money, it is there to save the main business money. I have spent 7 months of my life on bullshit. I am furious.

Tomorrow, I will write an amazing resignation letter that will really stick it to the man. And I will go find a better paying job, perhaps waiting tables for a little while until I can get a "real" job. A job I can be proud of and that makes a difference. I would rather wait tables than be a sucker for these rich people completely out of touch with reality. I will not be defeated. I will not take no for an answer. I will never sell out. Take this job and shove it!

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