Is This All There Is?

"That's Life, that's what the people say, you're riding high in April, shot down in May" One of my favorite Sinatra tunes - when it's April that is. Did you know I just turned 29 last month? And I am two classes away from having a degree in Political Science, which I have been putting off since 2007. I've had five jobs in the last 2 1/2 years.

When I was twenty I thought I would be Superwoman by now - career, married, kids. How naive. Is it just me or is this a completely impossible order? Yes, the mood at the moment is self-deprecating, bored, and despairing. Honestly, I feel pretty pissed off that I am starting over yet again. Have I angered the career gods? Is or are there a god(s)? Or is this just a constant flow of meaningless ups and downs?

I guess I've hit an existential crisis and I feel like kicking Sisyphus' ass. This is bullshit. This is not what I signed up for. I'm not asking to be Hilary Clinton or Emma Goldstein or Rosa Rosales. Just please, please throw me a damn bone. Or how about some stability? Long term, not short term. Dependable. Lasting. I don't know whether to cry or throw something.

Ugh, I should have listened to my parents.