For the few of you that follow my blog of career flops, economic woe, and frustration I would like to thank you for letting me vent for the past few years. I'm happy to say I may have figured it all out. For the first time in a long time I feel hopeful and excited about the future instead of feeling crushing anxiety. Now that I am married, single friends ask me "Well how did you know he was the one?" and when you know - when the answer is right in front of you - its not a leap of faith. It is a logical continuation of something you innately feel works. Perhaps that doesn't sound romantic but it is: its something that comes so natural you don't question it. Finding my mate was simply a matter of recognizing a good fit.
A "good fit" is surely an oversimplification and I do not mean to infer that when you meet the right person everything is then easy. But recognizing when something in your life works well is not as effortless as it sounds. Perhaps it's my stubborn nature, but looking back over my array or jobs the last five years I can see a pattern of trying to make a job work that I wasn't cut out for. Not to say I wasn't good at it, but it may have not been challenging enough or I found I was putting in enormous effort and getting nothing in return. I also have a problem with inefficiency. When I see it and I am not given the tools or authority to fix it I go crazy. We work so hard to make things easier right? To make money and manage tasks as smoothly as possible? So why do we put up with broken systems or processes that make our life harder when we are capable of changing what's wrong? It's trying to pound the proverbial square peg into a round hole. And I am so done with the square peg.
So I have decided to scrap what doesn't work in my life. I have found that working for corporations is not for me. I cannot abide by rules that are unethical, illogical, or exist for the sake of existing. If you see a problem, you fix it in a reasonable amount of time. People are living, breathing, and thinking organisms - they are not a legion of robot slaves that punch in and punch out on command. Human beings, like the rest of the natural world, are constantly evolving and over coming obstacles to be better than we were yesterday. Sitting at a cubicle day after day with a set of problems that never change is not evolution, it's a recipe for misery and a stagnation of your strengths.
After many years of trying to make myself become a good worker bee I have rejected the hive. I have decided to focus on what I am good at and offer my expertise as a freelancer. This means I pick my projects, I use my proficiency in ways that best benefit me, and I have the freedom to use my time as I see fit. No more waiting for the clock to hit 6 pm with nothing to do. My time is valuable and I choose to spend it in ways where I advance the best. My accomplishments do not go into the pocket of some CEO that doesn't know my name.
It hasn't been a cake walk. Starting your own company is stressful. Small businesses do have their pitfalls. Clients don't magically appear wanting to hand you money. But I'm figuring all this out and I feel good about myself and what I am doing. I work on projects I actually enjoy. My commute is to the kitchen in the morning and then to my home office in the room across from my bed room. I have time to fix a nice dinner from scratch while I do research and write articles. I get to spend more time with my beloved Akita who is getting up in years. It is true: Life is what you make it. And I am creating my life how I see fit. Never again will I force myself into a structure that doesn't suit me.