Monday, October 17, 2011

It's Not My Fault. Right?

One of the hindrances I face getting a job is my resume. More specifically my job history. One year here, six months there, its horrible. I wouldn't put it on the top of my stack of prospects if it came across my desk. It's not my fault, its a good run of bad luck. But how do you convey that to a prospective employer without sounding like a sob story?

In the summer of 2007, I landed my dream job: Data Manager for one of the largest Meals on Wheels in the country. I finally got my break and got out of retail, which I had been doing for nine years while in high school and college. I found that I was quite skilled at number crunching, conducting data integrity analysis, hitting deadlines early, and not losing sight of the big picture. That big picture being that if the monthly reporting had errors in it, the county could cite us, citations led to loss of funding, and that would result in 3,000 impoverished senior citizens not being able to eat every day. I took my job very seriously.

Unfortunately, I had to resign after a year. At the time, I was engaged to a veteran of the Iraq War. He came home from the Middle East with a serious case of PTSD. His condition caused him to abuse alcohol and ultimately physically abuse me. So in order to protect myself, I resigned from my position and moved to another city so he couldn't find me. I knew I had a great thing going at Meals on Wheels, but I had to get away for my own safety. It was a very scary time.

Fortunately, I landed another job in the non-profit sector within three days of moving here to San Antonio. What great luck. My new position was as a union organizer for a very large labor union. Since I had studied labor unions in a class called the Politics of the Middle Class in college, I was thrilled and jumped at the chance. I learned more about life there than I had ever before. This time I was not behind a desk, but working in the field talking to workers, encouraging them to fight for their rights in jobs where they had no say in what was going on. These workers weren't asking for anything unreasonable. They wanted affordable healthcare for themselves and their families, a fair system of getting raises (there was a lot of nepotism going on), and the right to sit down with their management to discuss the dangers of their jobs to find solutions that would make their jobs safer.

They weren't asking a lot, but to their management it as like asking for the moon. It took a lot of work, a lot of early morning site visits to talk to workers, late night phone calls to discuss how to better their situation, and a lot of boldness on my part. It's difficult to empower a group of people that had been put down in their jobs for decades. Convincing people that had lost all hope that they could make a difference was a challenge. But in the end, the workers came together and were able to save 1/3 of the jobs on the chopping block by asking the company to find these workers jobs in other sector of the company. It was a great win for all of us. When this campaign was coming to a close, however, I was asked to relocate to California, a state that had lots of unions. Texas does not. Not only did I want to continue to fight for workers rights in a place that was so deprived of solutions, I didn't want to leave this city I felt safe in. My family lives here, and having been through such a scary personal ordeal not even six months passed yet, I still needed their support. So I turned down the relocation.

This took place in the beginning of 2009. I started my job search looking for more non-profit work. I couldn't find anything. In fact, the exact same position I had with Meals on Wheels (MOW are all independently run, there is no umbrella organization) was open in San Antonio. But now they required a graduate degree. I hadn't even completed my bachelor's when I was hired as Data Manager before. So I lowered my expectations. I found a recruiting job with a small, family owned employment agency. The pay was considerably lower, but I was happy to be helping people find work. It didn't last long however, the economy had really taken it's toll on the company and I was let go after a month. It was a sad parting, the owner was even in tears when she told me they just couldn't afford me at that time and I really had respect for them. They were great to work for.

So, there I was again on the prowl for a new job. Two weeks later I was hired at the only locally owned hotel in the city as a front desk agent and was quickly promoted to Revenue Manager. My pay was low, but if I could hit my revenue goals I could make a good commission to make up for it. But the economy was sinking lower and no one was going on vacation and business were cutting back on going to conventions. I did not get one single commission check. Having been told by the owner that they would not be allocating any money for advertising, I launched a social media campaign to get the hotel's name out there. I generated a lot of buzz, but it couldn't make the difference in actual dollars spent at the hotel. And then I figured out that the hotel wasn't really there to make the owner money. They didn't even want us to succeed in driving in business. The hotel was a tax write off for the owner's other, very successful companies. I had been mislead from the very beginning. And only making $25,000 a year. I was furious. I quit.

Two weeks later, I had found a new position as an office manager for a locally owned (do you see a pattern here?) medical device company. I really liked it, the company was making great strides with new, innovative products and I received three raises in six months. Then the other shoe fell. The owner had made some hasty business decisions and could not afford me. They could of laid me off, but instead they made up some story about an error I had allegedly made. But they wouldn't allow me to prove my inculpability in the matter (I had emails and documentation that would prove them wrong), they fired me. Later, the owner told me that I did not have the skill set he needed. However, I met all the requirements laid out in my job description. That was the summer of 2010.

Since then, I finished my bachelor's degree and I have been searching for a job. So far, no luck. My job history is terrible. I take responsibility for some of it, but I really got dealt a bad hand. Several times. So what do I do now? Do I doctor my resume? Not only is that illegal, but I can't bring myself to lie. Especially since I didn't do anything wrong. I guess I just have to keep on doing what I'm doing. I know my job history is holding me back, but there's nothing I can do about it. Ideas?

Symptoms of Unemployment

Do you have any of these symptoms? If so, you might be unemployed. It's an affliction affecting a little over 4 million Americans.


  • Lower back pain: from hours spent in desk chair searching for jobs, emailing resumes, composing cover letters
  • Trouble sleeping: from fear, worry, and wondering what to do next
  • Headache: tension headaches from stress
  • Dizziness: from the speed at which life is passing you by
  • Depression: because life sucks
  • Excessive crying: because everything you're trying to do to get another job just ain't working
  • Food cravings: stress eating
  • Low self-esteem: because after awhile, it seems like all this is happening to you because you must suck

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Fliplife

I have found a solution to the boredom that comes from being unemployed. It's a game called Fliplife where you can choose a career, work, gain money and skills, shop, and buy a house. So far, I live in a tent and I'm a Senior Hack Writer, but you got to start somewhere. This game is great! I get to do all the things I wish I was doing in real life!

This game almost has a placebo effect. I can earn money, get rewarded for hard work, accomplish tasks. It's funny, I seemed to have forgotten how good it feels to finish something. There's satisfaction in knowing you've done something really well. I've spent so much time reflecting on the negative aspects of being unemployed lately. I've forgotten about all the positive attributes of employment. I never realized how much having a job affects your mental well-being.

Sure, work causes stress too. There are evil co-workers to deal with, deadlines, unreasonable clients, and so on. But man, I would be all to happy to put up with all that again if I could just get a job. I miss my schedule and paychecks, but I really miss feeling like I'm good at something.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Who is Running the Asylum?

Recently, a former colleague from my union organizing days called me up to get ideas about using social media as a tool for community engagement. I felt my ears perk up immediately when I heard "union", "demonstration" and "revolution". It was exciting to hear about what he was up to and what direction he wanted it to take. But it didn't really give me the rush it used to.

I went to a lot of protests during the Bush administration, started a liberal student organization, was a precinct delegate for Obama's presidential race, and spoke to people about revolution in the workplace on a daily basis as a union organizer. Those were the most exciting moments of my life. So what about me has changed?

Well, I've been illegally fired from two jobs in two years. I finished my bachelors degree finally after working on it for 10 years and have been unemployed since. My doctor bills have been more than my rent this month. I guess I have become disillusioned with the struggle. Well that's not right, I believe in the struggle but I'm disappointed in all its recent failures and I'm leery about jumping on any bandwagons.

Or maybe my problem is with the American public. They're so ready to buy into the propaganda and fear that is ruining our country. The populace has become ineffectual. All they can do besides eat chicken wings and watch football is gripe about abortion and pray that "one nation under God" will stay in the Pledge of Allegiance. Oh, and they're pretty adamant about not letting anymore brown people in the country, although they don't like to put it that way. Well, I bet they do at Niggerhead Ranch.

One must wonder, that if the populace is no longer able to start any significant change, and the government is for the people and by the people - the ineffectual people - then the government is also ineffectual. So who is running the asylum?

The dictatorship of the Almighty Dollar. And everyone knows he who has the most money wins. I think its time for a new strategy.
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Sunday, October 2, 2011

Or Unemployed, Depressed, and Broke

I used to be depressed because I was unemployed. Now I think I might be unemployed because I'm depressed. You know, when you have a job you have the money and health insurance to go to the shrink - but you don't ever have the time. And when you have all the time in the world and really could use a therapist, there's no money or medical insurance. Vicious isn't it?

Trying to figure out just how to attack the unemployment problem is also confusing. Do you get just any job so you can get out of the house? Or do you hold out for something that pays what you're worth and actually interests you? Either way, you're broke. And miserable.

I keep fantasizing about making money in my pajamas while I wait out this down turn. Like a novelist or online poker champion. You can almost see the boredom hang in the air, like smoke in a bar. I wonder if I was ever good at anything sometimes. I know I was, but it seems so long ago now. Everything I've ever endeavored to do, it seems, has met a dead end beyond my control.

Where to now?
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Friday, July 1, 2011

A Day in The Life of The Unemployed

I usually wake up around ten, and roll over to see if the dog is awake yet. He always is and ready to go outside. So I put some clothes on, find my sunglasses, and follow him around for 15 or 20 minutes. I lure him back into the house with some duck jerky. Then I put my pajamas back on, head for the couch, and try to decide if I'm in the mood for vampires, wizards, or aliens. Lately, its been vampires.

So I spend the better part of the day on the couch watching tv and playing wordfeud on my phone. Sometimes I take a nap. Or I reflect upon how pathetic my life has become and convince myself god is punishing me. And then I remind myself there is no god, perhaps I was a horrible person in a past life. Who knows. All I know is this situation feels like an affliction.

Some days I wake up and don't want to get out of bed at all. I get more and more reclusive as my depression takes a stronger grip. When I finally can't take being cooped up anymore I'll go out to the local watering hole. And I feel worse the next day.

It's confusing, I finally graduated college for nothing. There are no jobs. It seems like a cruel joke. I was already to start something new and there isn't anything to start. Except maybe a load of laundry. My house feels like my asylum.

People keep telling me my luck will change and the perfect job is right around the corner. Please stop saying this to me. I want to burst into tears every time I hear it because nothing is happening. Why is hitting 30 feel like hitting a brick wall?




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Friday, November 19, 2010

Black Friday is Capitalist Overkill

I've been going through my rss feeds and the only think that keeps popping up is stuff for the after Thanksgiving sales - known to the retail world as Black Friday.And if you happen to be an unfortunate soul that works retail this day is known as pure hell. Dear Public: you are full on turkey and carbs, and have just come out of a food coma, is this the best time to go shopping? If you are even going to find a place to park. Maybe you'll get lucky and finding a parking spot will take less than 30 minutes.

When I was growing up, the day after Thanksgiving was putting up the tree in my Grandparent's sitting room. Eating leftovers, and relaxing. This will date me, but I remember sitting in the living room with my dad and grandfather watching the Cotton Bowl. My mother was not franticaly trying to get us up and out of bed at 4am so we can get to the mall for the early bird specials. Or to rush the gaming console counter to try and to get the last XBox.

I never worked a Black Friday until I was 18 working at World of Science in Lafayette, Louisiana. That was hell. I was also the stocking manager which was a bit of a nightmare.The next Black Friday was worse as I was now at a toy store. Luckily, my manager from the previous store came with me to this one. We spent a lot of time smoking cigarettes in the delivery entrance. The day went like this: open store at 5:30am and get bum rushed by the crowd who's been waiting for 45 min. They're all ready very cranky. Kids are on the loose, the Barbie aisle gets taken out, and the stack of tonka trucks is not a jenga set kid. He toppled over a 6 foot display of tonka trunks for really no reason whatsoever. In fifteen minutes the store had been destroyed, it was too crazy to stop and eat, people were arguing in line, and hustling the cashiers telling them that they're selling the same item 4 stores over for 5 bucks cheaper. Are these merry Christmas shoppers? Hell no. These are the same dumb fucks that go crazy over tax free weekend (an 8% off sale is not a great deal). 

Think about it, whatever you didn't max your credit card out on Black Friday they have something more up their sleeve. Prices fall all through December, not because of demand, but because the stores need room for new inventory, so anything Christmas has got to go. I refuse to go shopping during the holidays. It's stressful, people are at their worst, they are blowing their paychecks on cheap toys made in China (probably with lead) that WILL break with in 5 days instead of keeping up with the mortgage. At this particular toy store, most items were returned because they were cheap and broke. I sold $42 worth of toys right after Christmas, the returns were a -$2,000. Bottom line: don't buy crap.

The credit companies are loving this. They wait for the news to announce how much Wal-mart made that one day. If sales beat last years it's going to be a great year. Lots of people defaulting on their credit cards. More fees and overage charges that you won't be able to pay for months. It's a scheme!!!

And this is why I am not participating this year. No Christmas for Grace. It's bullshit. Those good ol' Christians decided to but baby Jesus' birthday closer to the winter solstice, perhaps to get some of the pagans in on the gift giving pandemonium. I'm not saying Jesus didn't exist, I'm just saying that I don't think this is what he had in mind. Let's all empty our bank accounts to buy stuff for other people that they don't need, that you don't need, that no one really needs.

I will be donating a few coats to Goodwill and I'm compiling scans of family photos for my Dad, brother, Uncle and cousins. But that is it. Christmas used to be a big family meal, a trip to church, and reasonable presents for children. Like teddy bears. Why does a six year old need a Wii? Let's see: teddy bear $6.99 or a good children's book at $11.99, Wii will set you back $150 - $420 depending on the accessories. And another thing you'll need the games at $50 a pop.

Which one would you go with if you want to spend more time with your kid? Because if you get the Wii, you won't see him or her at all except when they need food. Like they say in the army: Keep It Simple Stupid. There's no reason for anyone to go broke over Christmas. Boycott it! Except for the big family dinner. Those are important.